When it comes to ejaculation, we don’t have much in the way of direct control. Ejaculation is an autonomic nervous system thing – that word ‘autonomic’ means automatic.
If you’ve ever tried to delay your ejaculation when you’re close, you’ve battled with your autonomic nervous system. And you know how frustrating that feels.
One thing you do have is your breath, a direct way of calming your nervous system and slowing down the reflex.
But as a therapist, I say this to guys and they say “no, I’ve tried that. I’ve tried breathing slowly during sex, I’ve tried holding my breath – it doesn’t make any difference.”
Or they’ve tried Wim Hof breathing or – as a couple of guys have said to me recently – they’ve tried Buteyko breathing.
Well, we do need a bit of technique to get the delaying effect – that’s true. Wim Hof breathing for delaying ejaculation – no.
The Buteyko breathing technique gets talked up as a cure for premature ejaculation because of its relaxing effect, and its effect on our nitric oxide levels.
But is Buteyko actually helpful for men wanting to last in bed?
Premature ejaculation and nitric oxide levels
Clinical studies have found that men with lifelong PE tend to have lower levels of nitric oxide in their blood, compared to men who don’t struggle in the endurance department. That’s interesting.
So if we can get our nitric oxide levels up, maybe that’ll help us hold on?
Buteyko has been around for decades. It puts emphasis on nasal breathing and breath holding (aka ‘the control pause’). Buteyko teachers say both of these raise nitric oxide levels, and benefits our bloodflow and respiration. It has a calming, relaxing effect on the autonomic nervous system.
Men are making this connection. I did a quick google and there are articles and posts on premature ejaculation forums saying when you get close to coming, do a full exhale and then hold your breath for 8 seconds or longer. Feel your excitement and sensitivity go down, then go again. They recommend taking up regular Buteyko practice to develop this ability.
But I’m sceptical about the influence of nitric oxide on ejaculation. Buteyko may well boost it, but does that actually have a delaying effect?
Here’s the thing: men on the quicker side have lower levels of nitric oxide, but is that causing their PE?
Research also found that when men took SSRI medication as a treatment for PE, they lasted longer and their nitric oxide levels measured higher.
So there’s correlation here. When serotonin levels are raised, and other complex neurological processes are affected – and you last longer – raised nitric oxide levels are a marker of this.
Serotonin does affect ejaculation, no doubt about that, and it interacts with nitric oxide. But does this work the other way around? Probably not.
Better breathing techniques for lasting longer
My advice – look into Buteyko, give it a go if you’re curious (and you don’t suffer from hypertension or heart disease or some other condition where breath holding during activity isn’t a good idea). You may well get some general relaxing effect.
But for helping with early ejaculation – and performance anxiety and stress and racing thoughts and all the things that speed us up – I’d suggest other breathing techniques. The physiological sigh and simple 7-11 breathing, for example.
With the physiological sigh, you take a breath in, followed by a top-up breath, and then a big exhale, relaxing all the way down. See Andrew Huberman’s video on that.
7-11 breathing is taking an in-breath for a gentle count of 7 and exhaling for – would you guess – a count of 11.
You can enjoy these techniques as a regular practice, to really feel the benefits. And you can do them during sex, with your partner. Just don’t wait until right before the point of no return. Breathe sooner, when you notice that you’re going up through the gears.
Big breaths are a better look in bed than breath holding, in my humble opinion.
Techniques that incorporate a long, slower exhale – which helps engage the parasympathetic nervous system, which definitely plays a role in ejaculation – but they don’t require a breath hold.
And there’s plenty more: box breathing, belly breathing, etc.
Wim Hof breathing tends to engage the sympathetic nervous system and has the opposite effect. Great for running up mountains naked, but not so great for relaxing into sexual intercourse.
I have some other videos with evidence-based suggestions about breathing exercises and techniques for overcoming PE, and I cover this on my self-help training course in some depth.
I hope this has been informative. Buteyko didn’t turn out to be the ‘cure for PE’ but don’t write off breathing. And there’s plenty you can do – therapeutically proven approaches – to reach your full sexual potential.
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